Wednesday, December 20, 2006
this sucks
It's 4:30 in the morning and I'm getting ready for work. I have to be there at 5:30. I can't wait for the holiday retail season to be over.
Wednesday, December 13, 2006
Is it ok????
I've been meaning to write about this since Thanksgiving. Its a debate that Jean and I had at the MMC. Now perhaps we were only discussing this because we were delirious from the 12 pounds of turkey we had eaten, but somehow I think we'd have ended up debating this at some point regardless of the situation.
While at the MMC we saw a woman wearing the most delightful shirt. In fact I'm surprised that its not on Jean's Christmas list. It was a shirt that was covered in screen printed wolves. I believe that there may also have been glitter...it was hard to see. Naturally Jean and I instantly gave each other the "did you just see what I saw Oh My God!" look. But then we noticed that this woman had on a very large plastic back brace: clearly indicating some serious injury or disability. This poses the question: (I sound like I'm in an extemp round) "Is it OK to make fun of a terribly unfortunate shirt/clothing choice if the person wearing is clearly disabled?" I say yes and here are my reasons. We weren't saying "oh my god that lady is so ugly." We were saying "That shirt is so ugly." And it was...hideous...and not at all appropriate for the Thanksgiving holiday bar experience (anyone recall the Thanksgiving whore from last year?. We are making fun of the shirt. Not the woman or her disability.
I suppose it could go further. If, for example, I see a mentally challenged person wearing a screen printed sweatshirt (the kind with the fake polo shirt collar on top) can i make fun of that? Perhaps the mental disability makes her think that its a nice shirt! At that point am I inadvertently making fun of the shirt and the disability?
What do you think? Is it OK to make fun of a terribly ugly shirt of the person wearing it has some sort of disability? Inquiring minds must know!
While at the MMC we saw a woman wearing the most delightful shirt. In fact I'm surprised that its not on Jean's Christmas list. It was a shirt that was covered in screen printed wolves. I believe that there may also have been glitter...it was hard to see. Naturally Jean and I instantly gave each other the "did you just see what I saw Oh My God!" look. But then we noticed that this woman had on a very large plastic back brace: clearly indicating some serious injury or disability. This poses the question: (I sound like I'm in an extemp round) "Is it OK to make fun of a terribly unfortunate shirt/clothing choice if the person wearing is clearly disabled?" I say yes and here are my reasons. We weren't saying "oh my god that lady is so ugly." We were saying "That shirt is so ugly." And it was...hideous...and not at all appropriate for the Thanksgiving holiday bar experience (anyone recall the Thanksgiving whore from last year?. We are making fun of the shirt. Not the woman or her disability.
I suppose it could go further. If, for example, I see a mentally challenged person wearing a screen printed sweatshirt (the kind with the fake polo shirt collar on top) can i make fun of that? Perhaps the mental disability makes her think that its a nice shirt! At that point am I inadvertently making fun of the shirt and the disability?
What do you think? Is it OK to make fun of a terribly ugly shirt of the person wearing it has some sort of disability? Inquiring minds must know!
Thursday, November 30, 2006
Getting back into things...
Apparently I don't Blog anymore. I don't know why. It certainly isn't for lack of things to write about. I mean I haven't written in nearly two months! Of course that's nothing compared to Chad. I think it's laziness. I think "hey I should blog about that!" but then I sit on the couch with my book or my crochet project (yes I'm a crafty dork) and I forget all about blogging. I used to love doing this...writing for my amusement and therapy. I think I should start again.
Here are some things that have happened since I last wrote:
- I've worked a lot. A LOT. Spent a fair time bar tending including one concert by former Grateful Dead members. After the concert a man walked up to me holding a pair of knee-high Ty-dyed socks. He said, "So do you wanna buy some socks?....or drugs?" Hmmmm socks or drugs...tough choice. Actually I think I'm good.
-I acquired a stomach bacteria called Helicobacter pylori. My mom nicknamed it the helicopter...and that's sorta what it felt like...a helicopter eating my stomach lining. Thanks to Mr. H Pylori I now have ulcerations in my stomach. Lost 15 pounds though! Gained 10 back once I started eating again, but I figure I'm ahead 5 pounds right?
-I've decided to interview for the Macy's management program in the Spring. I kinda feel like a sell-out but I'm totally lacking direction right now and with a goal I feel much better.
-I've found a cheap flight to California for my February vacation
-I have nearly completed my Christmas shopping.
Well that's about it...I think I've exhausted my blogging stamina for today. Gotta pace yourself when you come back from a long break ya know?
Here are some things that have happened since I last wrote:
- I've worked a lot. A LOT. Spent a fair time bar tending including one concert by former Grateful Dead members. After the concert a man walked up to me holding a pair of knee-high Ty-dyed socks. He said, "So do you wanna buy some socks?....or drugs?" Hmmmm socks or drugs...tough choice. Actually I think I'm good.
-I acquired a stomach bacteria called Helicobacter pylori. My mom nicknamed it the helicopter...and that's sorta what it felt like...a helicopter eating my stomach lining. Thanks to Mr. H Pylori I now have ulcerations in my stomach. Lost 15 pounds though! Gained 10 back once I started eating again, but I figure I'm ahead 5 pounds right?
-I've decided to interview for the Macy's management program in the Spring. I kinda feel like a sell-out but I'm totally lacking direction right now and with a goal I feel much better.
-I've found a cheap flight to California for my February vacation
-I have nearly completed my Christmas shopping.
Well that's about it...I think I've exhausted my blogging stamina for today. Gotta pace yourself when you come back from a long break ya know?
Monday, October 09, 2006
Happy Columbus Day!
Its Columbus Day. A day we don't really celebrate anymore. I remember when I was a kid we used to get the day off from school. I don't think kids get it off anymore. In fact the only reason I'm writing about Columbus Day is because of something that happened at work.
Like many many retail stores, Macy's has a Columbus Day Sale. Why is that? "Celebrate the accidental discovery of the Western Hemisphere by purchasing crap you don't need! PS we had the same sale last week and will have it again next week only with a different name."
Anyway, it is what it is and many stores have a sale by this name. But yesterday a woman called our store to protest. She and a group of her angry friends were sitting at her home calling various stores to voice their frustration about Columbus Day sales. "Why would you have a sale that celebrates a murderer, rapist, and slave trader? I'm never shopping their again!" The manager calmly explained that the corporate sales staff set up the ad /sale campaigns and we just run them. We didn't come up with it, we're just putting up the signs. I'm sure this lady thought that the St. Paul Macy's had the brilliant idea to have a Columbus Day sale that no other Macy's was having. Cuz in St. Paul we like Italian men who borrow money from the Spanish and Portuguese and accidentally land NEAR America. We like to celebrate that.
After realizing that we wouldn't do anything about her complaint, I assume the woman went on to call Herbergers, Sears, JC Penny's and whomever else is having a Columbus Day Sale. I wish I had that lady's problems!
Like many many retail stores, Macy's has a Columbus Day Sale. Why is that? "Celebrate the accidental discovery of the Western Hemisphere by purchasing crap you don't need! PS we had the same sale last week and will have it again next week only with a different name."
Anyway, it is what it is and many stores have a sale by this name. But yesterday a woman called our store to protest. She and a group of her angry friends were sitting at her home calling various stores to voice their frustration about Columbus Day sales. "Why would you have a sale that celebrates a murderer, rapist, and slave trader? I'm never shopping their again!" The manager calmly explained that the corporate sales staff set up the ad /sale campaigns and we just run them. We didn't come up with it, we're just putting up the signs. I'm sure this lady thought that the St. Paul Macy's had the brilliant idea to have a Columbus Day sale that no other Macy's was having. Cuz in St. Paul we like Italian men who borrow money from the Spanish and Portuguese and accidentally land NEAR America. We like to celebrate that.
After realizing that we wouldn't do anything about her complaint, I assume the woman went on to call Herbergers, Sears, JC Penny's and whomever else is having a Columbus Day Sale. I wish I had that lady's problems!
Monday, October 02, 2006
Retail Crazies
The crazies are out prowling the retail stores of downtown Saint Paul. I’m convinced that we’re close to a full moon and somehow that makes the crazies gravitate toward me at work. It’s like lunar tide pulls except with mentally unstable people….
3 days ago I was confronted with the oddest question I’ve ever been asked: “Do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”
Let me start at the beginning:
A woman came up to the counter and asked to speak to a manager. I asked what it was in regards to so that I could contact the correct manager. She said that it was in regards to our sexual harassment policy. At this point I was concerned that perhaps something had happened to her.
“Ma’am have you been harassed in our store?”
“No. I just want to know what your policy is.”
“We have a strict no harassment policy here. What can I do for you?”
She launches into this story about some man who was calling her a “witch” and shouting anti-Semitic things at her in the Wells-Fargo Building. Supposedly, this man works for MNSCU who has an office in the Wells Fargo building.
“Ma’am I’m terribly sorry that that happened to you. I suggest that you talk to the security at Wells Fargo. If nothing happened in our store, our security can’t do anything.”
“But what if he follows me in here?”
“If you ever feel threatened in our store, find any employee and we’ll get our security involved.”
Here’s where it gets crazy:
“I have one more question. Do you have people here who sexually harass your customers?”
“What do you mean ma’am?”
“Well, do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”
I’m dumbfounded
“No ma’am why would we do that?”
“I don’t know, why would you?”
Touché. I can’t answer that. Why would we? Then comes one last big question.
“Do you sexually harass people?”
WHAT?!?!?
“No ma’am I don’t.”
And I’m thinking if I did, she wouldn’t have been my first choice of targets.
I kindly asked the woman to leave at that point. WTF? Do we hire people to harass customers? Do I harass customers? It’s gotta be a full moon.
3 days ago I was confronted with the oddest question I’ve ever been asked: “Do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”
Let me start at the beginning:
A woman came up to the counter and asked to speak to a manager. I asked what it was in regards to so that I could contact the correct manager. She said that it was in regards to our sexual harassment policy. At this point I was concerned that perhaps something had happened to her.
“Ma’am have you been harassed in our store?”
“No. I just want to know what your policy is.”
“We have a strict no harassment policy here. What can I do for you?”
She launches into this story about some man who was calling her a “witch” and shouting anti-Semitic things at her in the Wells-Fargo Building. Supposedly, this man works for MNSCU who has an office in the Wells Fargo building.
“Ma’am I’m terribly sorry that that happened to you. I suggest that you talk to the security at Wells Fargo. If nothing happened in our store, our security can’t do anything.”
“But what if he follows me in here?”
“If you ever feel threatened in our store, find any employee and we’ll get our security involved.”
Here’s where it gets crazy:
“I have one more question. Do you have people here who sexually harass your customers?”
“What do you mean ma’am?”
“Well, do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”
I’m dumbfounded
“No ma’am why would we do that?”
“I don’t know, why would you?”
Touché. I can’t answer that. Why would we? Then comes one last big question.
“Do you sexually harass people?”
WHAT?!?!?
“No ma’am I don’t.”
And I’m thinking if I did, she wouldn’t have been my first choice of targets.
I kindly asked the woman to leave at that point. WTF? Do we hire people to harass customers? Do I harass customers? It’s gotta be a full moon.
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Shove It
Last week/weekend was a delightful time at Macy's. It was the last of the semi-annual Customer Satisfaction Survey's. As Marshall Fields, we had to have 1000 surveys filled out every spring and fall to gauge who people felt about our store. Our raises were mostly dependent on those scores and how many credit accounts we open. Macy's thought it'd be a great idea to do one last survey. A sort of last hurrah from the old Marshall Fields days in case we would all miss begging people to fill out a survey. Besides, people here aren't angry enough about Macy's taking over, lets give them the chance to formally bitch about it on a survey.
Being a full time Macy's Express person, I got to solicit these surveys twice last week. I loved every minute of it. Not often do you get the opportunity to get rejected by hundreds of strangers a day. Not every job allows you the wide range of responses such as glares, blatant ignorance of your existence, and people who start running away when they see you.
In all fairness I generally do not participate in surveys at stores. But I'm polite about it. Or, if it looks short I'll do it. Ours was 12 questions. Quick. On a 5x7 piece of paper. Short. Report card format. Easy. But I understand if you don't have 30 seconds to give your opinion about a store you either like (you're shopping there) or hate (you can't accept change). If you don't have time be nice about it!!!!! The people soliciting these surveys DO NOT get paid enough to deal with your rude behavior. In case you don't follow my meaning, here are some examples that I was subjected to that you should not follow:
- do not say "I'm in a hurry" then run past the person only to spend the next half hour shopping in their visual field...at least go to a different floor if you're gonna lie
-do not say "am I gonna get something if I do it? no? then forget it!"
- do not say "I did it yesterday" if we were not doing it yesterday
-do not say "no I won't take your survey! I hate Macy's! I hated Marshall Fields too! I want Dayton's back!" (btw lady, its been 7 years since Daytons was gone. and why are you still shopping here if you hate it?)
- do not put your hand in my face and curtly say "no" before I even ask you a question
-above all else DO NOT walk up to me and say "I'm disgusted! You can shove it!" and walk away. (found out he was "disgusted" with us because his bank declined his check for insufficient funds. Yes...your financial irresponsibility are my fault sir"
There you have it...do not do these things to the poor people soliciting surveys. They don't wanna do it anymore than you do...TRUST ME!
Being a full time Macy's Express person, I got to solicit these surveys twice last week. I loved every minute of it. Not often do you get the opportunity to get rejected by hundreds of strangers a day. Not every job allows you the wide range of responses such as glares, blatant ignorance of your existence, and people who start running away when they see you.
In all fairness I generally do not participate in surveys at stores. But I'm polite about it. Or, if it looks short I'll do it. Ours was 12 questions. Quick. On a 5x7 piece of paper. Short. Report card format. Easy. But I understand if you don't have 30 seconds to give your opinion about a store you either like (you're shopping there) or hate (you can't accept change). If you don't have time be nice about it!!!!! The people soliciting these surveys DO NOT get paid enough to deal with your rude behavior. In case you don't follow my meaning, here are some examples that I was subjected to that you should not follow:
- do not say "I'm in a hurry" then run past the person only to spend the next half hour shopping in their visual field...at least go to a different floor if you're gonna lie
-do not say "am I gonna get something if I do it? no? then forget it!"
- do not say "I did it yesterday" if we were not doing it yesterday
-do not say "no I won't take your survey! I hate Macy's! I hated Marshall Fields too! I want Dayton's back!" (btw lady, its been 7 years since Daytons was gone. and why are you still shopping here if you hate it?)
- do not put your hand in my face and curtly say "no" before I even ask you a question
-above all else DO NOT walk up to me and say "I'm disgusted! You can shove it!" and walk away. (found out he was "disgusted" with us because his bank declined his check for insufficient funds. Yes...your financial irresponsibility are my fault sir"
There you have it...do not do these things to the poor people soliciting surveys. They don't wanna do it anymore than you do...TRUST ME!
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Kick Ass Vacation!
The first big thing we did was visit Seaworld. As soon as we walked through the gates, Henry put on his Japanese tourist costume (the camera) and started clicking. By the end of the trip between Henry, his friend Jimmy, and myself we had over 600 pictures. I was able to narrow it down to my 140 favorites to print. Don't worry...blogger would never support that many, so here are some of my favs.
I fed and pet a ton of dolphins. It was so much fun!
The Beluga whale kept swimming to the glass and pressing his head against it.
The Shamu show was awesome! I realized i wanted to stage manage it cuz there were so many cool light and sounds cues...especially the night show: "Shamu's house of Douse". And guys can you imagine have a killer whale's mouth in your crotch?
Dance dolphins dance!
This is one of my favorites. Seaworld was a very good day!!!
After Seaworld we went to this kinda sketchy Mexican place. I like that the sign says "Healthy Mexican & Seafood" There was nothing healthy there and who would get seafood from a place where you had to put a token in the bathroom door to use it???
Are you actually gonna eat that? Honestly though, the food was pretty good. Potato Tacos. For the Irish Mexican in all of us!
Time for the happiest place on earth!
Capt. Jack Sparrow made me happy!
Henry was unsuccessful at pulling the sword from the stone.
I like that rather than purchase the picture of us on Space Mtn., Henry just took a picture of the picture. Those 2 in front wet themselves from the looks of it!
My princess castle
Us and the goof and me and Mickey...both in their fancy 50th anniversary costumes!
I finally got my ears! I was adorable! And so is this pic...another great day!
Watching the sunset at Seal Beach
We went to the tide pools at Corona Del Mar again. I saw a sea slug and called him my squishy cuz that's how he felt....squishy.
After petting squishies we climbed rocks.
It was a great vacation and it was really hard to come home...especially hard to come home to cooler weather and work. I love visiting California and seeing Henry. Being with someone...ya know? But all good things must come to an end so that we can begin looking forward to another visit! I can't wait!!!
Monday, September 11, 2006
Home Again
I back from sunny california just in time for the 55 degree weather! Its odd that yesterday i was at the beach in shorts and a tank and today i'm wearing a builky sweater. I've been doing laundry and editing pictures all day since i luckily was not scheduled at work. (its always nice to have an extra day off after vacation to recoop). I'm sure I'll post a full blog tomorrow or wednesday, but the long and short of it is that I had a great time! I fed a dolphin, met Mickey Mouse, and spent time with the "boyfriend" (for lack of a better term).
Spending the week with him was the best part...and here's a little preview...when we got to his house he covered my eyes and brought me into the room where he had set this up:
All of these little lanterns and tealights. A great beginning to the week! More later!
Spending the week with him was the best part...and here's a little preview...when we got to his house he covered my eyes and brought me into the room where he had set this up:
All of these little lanterns and tealights. A great beginning to the week! More later!
Monday, August 07, 2006
The Suspense is over
Here she is!!!!!!!!!!!!! 
Sorry it took so long...she was just too much for blogger to handle. This lady needed a photo bucket to upload her beauty!
Let me introduce you to Suspenders. Suspenders has a penchant for daisy duke shorts. And with a body like that, who can blame her? If you've got flaunt it....flaunt it all! Flaunt so much of it that you need denim suspenders to hold it all up! And yes boys..."they" are real. Don't believe me? Read her shirt. That's proof enough. I've often found that by wearing a shirt that says, "Yes they're real" you get a more positive response from classy men with mullets. Speaking of mullets, Suspenders loves em! She spent the whole night dancing with a (female?) mullet sporting tight, knee-length, cut off shorts and moccasins. Hott!!! While Suspenders is attracted to mullet, she herself prefers the giant blonde curly phony-pony. I guess the shirt wasn't referring to her golden locks. And to keep extra phony-ponies and spare suspenders, Suspenders carries a leather backpack with at all times to avoid and fashion crises. Its nice to be prepared.
So thank you Suspenders for a delightful evening. Not since Leopard Queen have I had so much fun!
Thursday, August 03, 2006
for the record....
I have tried twice (yesterday and today) to write the post about the previously mentioned MMC dancer. But BLOGGER won't let me post a picture...jerk ass. And Jean can agree that it just wouldn't be worth it without a picture. I will give you a hint...her name is suspenders. I'll try again soon. Stupid blogger.
Monday, July 31, 2006
Ok...I have a hilarious photo to post and blog to write about someone from Thursday night at the MMC, but I'm just not in the mood. I got some pretty awful family news yesterday resulting in a funeral to attend towards the end of the week.
But, the good thing is that someone really took care of me last night. He listened while i was upset. Told me to let it out...and i sorta did, which isn't easy. Then just at the right moment he changed the subject. He didn't try to make me happy, just tried to distract me from the shittiness of life. And then......he sang me to sleep. It could only have been better if he were with me hugging me rather than me hugging the stuffed giraffe that is his namesake. I'm so thankful for him.
But the point is that sometime soon a hilarious photo will be here...as soon as I'm up to accurately describing the character.
But, the good thing is that someone really took care of me last night. He listened while i was upset. Told me to let it out...and i sorta did, which isn't easy. Then just at the right moment he changed the subject. He didn't try to make me happy, just tried to distract me from the shittiness of life. And then......he sang me to sleep. It could only have been better if he were with me hugging me rather than me hugging the stuffed giraffe that is his namesake. I'm so thankful for him.
But the point is that sometime soon a hilarious photo will be here...as soon as I'm up to accurately describing the character.
Wednesday, July 26, 2006
An Open Letter to centipedes
Dear Centipede family living in my house,
Please move out. I understand that it's ungodly hot outside and that your little feet probably get burnt on the hot cement, but that is no reason for you to come into my home. I would greatly appreciate it if you left. If however, you insist on living here (rent free I might add), then please refrain from coming out in the open. Stick to the pipes and inside the walls or wherever it is you have set up you little condos.
You may have noticed that some of your family members have gone missing recently. That is because they did not comply with the aforementioned request of staying hidden. For example, do not hang out on top of the washing machine in the basement. When I walk in to do a load of whites I do not want to meet your gaze. Nor do I want to see you scamper down the side of the washer and run in circles on the basement floor trying to predict my move. I will squish you with the laundry detergent bottle. It will hurt. I will not feel bad.
Hanging out in my shower is another sure way to die. I do not appreciate opening my shower door and finding one of you chillin' in there. I will slam the door as I gasp and curse your name. Then I will retrieve the laundry detergent bottle once again. Just be glad I didn't squirt you with soap scum remover which was the closest thing to me at the time. That would have been more painful that being squished.
Let these examples be a lesson. I do not want you here. I can ignore your existence if I do not see you. But your visible presence will provoke unapologetic violence. If you value your lives you will move out or stay hidden.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Please move out. I understand that it's ungodly hot outside and that your little feet probably get burnt on the hot cement, but that is no reason for you to come into my home. I would greatly appreciate it if you left. If however, you insist on living here (rent free I might add), then please refrain from coming out in the open. Stick to the pipes and inside the walls or wherever it is you have set up you little condos.
You may have noticed that some of your family members have gone missing recently. That is because they did not comply with the aforementioned request of staying hidden. For example, do not hang out on top of the washing machine in the basement. When I walk in to do a load of whites I do not want to meet your gaze. Nor do I want to see you scamper down the side of the washer and run in circles on the basement floor trying to predict my move. I will squish you with the laundry detergent bottle. It will hurt. I will not feel bad.
Hanging out in my shower is another sure way to die. I do not appreciate opening my shower door and finding one of you chillin' in there. I will slam the door as I gasp and curse your name. Then I will retrieve the laundry detergent bottle once again. Just be glad I didn't squirt you with soap scum remover which was the closest thing to me at the time. That would have been more painful that being squished.
Let these examples be a lesson. I do not want you here. I can ignore your existence if I do not see you. But your visible presence will provoke unapologetic violence. If you value your lives you will move out or stay hidden.
Sincerely,
Shannon
Surprise!
Lance Bass of `N Sync reveals he's gay
Are any of us really suprised???
I like that he says, "I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand...".
Enough said.
Are any of us really suprised???I like that he says, "I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand...".
Enough said.
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Professor Poopypants names us all!
I was feeling very childish this morning as I was whining about having to go into work. Luckily for me (and all of you) i received an email from a friend including this link. It's hilarious...if you're 9 years old. Or you're me right now. So, welcome to your new blog titles everyone! Love, Snotty Burgerchunks
Monday, July 17, 2006
Blog Neglect
I have neglected my blog. I'm a bad blogger. I feel guilty about it. The lack of writing has been because of a lack of material. I think it's the heat and the boredom of summer. It's been sort of a dull summer for me...especially knowing that time is slowly ticking down to my vacation to California. But, this past weekend I went with Rae to Taylor's Falls with her boy and a great weekend on the lake. Swimming, poking butts with water noodles, drinking, eating, drinking, more swimming (naked)...it was a good time...pictures coming soon (but not of the nakedness).
I would, however, like to take the time to mention a few things I've learned lately, mostly at work.
This is a real product. Great name.
I would, however, like to take the time to mention a few things I've learned lately, mostly at work.
- -It’s ok to steal from your co-workers. There have been three separate thefts from the Fields Express (my team) office over the last two weeks. None of my money has been stolen, but I’m still outraged at the fact that the company is doing nothing to catch the person we KNOW is doing this. I don’t bring money to work anymore when “thief girl” is working. The security guys will chase people out of the store who steal an $8.00 clearance item, but they do nothing when over $150.00 has been stolen from the employees.
- -Weird kid still works at Field’s even though he’s had about 10 “no call no show” days. How is that allowed?
- -A crazy woman who is employed as a “banquet server” came into work and ranted to me about how our display tables were set improperly. Our cups and saucers ands napkins were in the wrong spot. This clearly warrants rearranging the table immediately (even though she doesn’t work at Field’s) as well as leaving a comment card for the store manger informing him of the atrocity.
- -Women are disgusting. PAY ATTENTION LADIES. DO NOT LEAVE FITTING ROOMS FULL OF CLOTHES!!! I walked into 3 fitting rooms that were shin deep (NO LIE!) in swim suits. SHIN DEEP!!! Do you know how many swim suits that is??? Pick ‘em up ladies!
- -When filling out the online job application within the store, it is apparently ok to grab a current employee and ask what the correct answers are to the subjective questions.
- -And finally….something I noticed at Target.
This is a real product. Great name.
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
Dance Time Fantastic
Last week was perhaps one of the best weeks ever at the MMC. EVER!
First of all, Jean and I smelled nice...Tony even said so. So that's a plus. Any day is a good day when you smell nice.
Secondly, it was "make out on the dance floor" night. Always one of my favorites. I love watching a man's hand slide all the way up a woman's skirt while they are grinding to Billy Jean. I think more old people should make out. You can never have enough of that either.
Thirdly, I would like to thank "smells like teen spirit" and "Johann Sebastian Mohawk" for asking Jean to dance. "Smells like teen spirit" had the dance moves of Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. I thought maybe he was upset because he burned the toast like in the movie. Johann Sebastian Mohawk thought he could woo Jean (even though he didn't really talk to her). He also thought he could dance. He also had a mohawk.
But the thing that tops 'em all is Leopard Queen.
Sir I would like to congratulate you on your fashion sense. Bravo! You wear animal print like no one I've seen before. You have legs that don't quit and a waist that models are envious of. You also have a fancy mustache and shiny bangle bracelets. Your dance moves are far superior to anyone else's. I cannot compete with you sir, nor would I want to. Thank you for making my night. Words cannot do this man justice so I will allow the pictures to speak for themselves.
First of all, Jean and I smelled nice...Tony even said so. So that's a plus. Any day is a good day when you smell nice.
Secondly, it was "make out on the dance floor" night. Always one of my favorites. I love watching a man's hand slide all the way up a woman's skirt while they are grinding to Billy Jean. I think more old people should make out. You can never have enough of that either.
Thirdly, I would like to thank "smells like teen spirit" and "Johann Sebastian Mohawk" for asking Jean to dance. "Smells like teen spirit" had the dance moves of Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. I thought maybe he was upset because he burned the toast like in the movie. Johann Sebastian Mohawk thought he could woo Jean (even though he didn't really talk to her). He also thought he could dance. He also had a mohawk.
But the thing that tops 'em all is Leopard Queen.
Sir I would like to congratulate you on your fashion sense. Bravo! You wear animal print like no one I've seen before. You have legs that don't quit and a waist that models are envious of. You also have a fancy mustache and shiny bangle bracelets. Your dance moves are far superior to anyone else's. I cannot compete with you sir, nor would I want to. Thank you for making my night. Words cannot do this man justice so I will allow the pictures to speak for themselves.
Wednesday, June 14, 2006
gimme a cookie
After the shitty shitty day i had at work (which began with a customer spilling coffee on me and ending with a fellow employee yelling at me) I deserve a giant cookie. Just like this squirrel. I think his was a pecan sandie, but I'm not too picky.
Saturday, June 03, 2006
Are we on cops?
It's probably hard to tell what this is but it is a cop in my backyard with a rifle...a loaded and ready to fire rifle. Let me tell you all a little story:
My mom, her friend Carol and I are having a delicious dinner when all of a sudden Carol says, "there's someone in your back yard". So mom goes to the kitchen and she says, "its a cop!". Then she opens the door. The cop steps back from behind a tree and is holding a rife. He says "don't come out here" so she closes the door. Being nosy, we're all looking out the windows. There are like 6 cops with rifles and pistols pointed at our neighbors house. They were hiding behind shit and turning corners with the guns pointed. This went on for like 30 minutes then they just left and never told us anything about what they were doing. I think we'll just keep our doors permenantly locked! God I love my neighborhood!
Wednesday, May 31, 2006
Full Time Employment is good
As of June 4th I will be a full time employee at Marshall Fields. I am excited about this...at least for the time being. Some people have told me I'm wasting my time- that I shouldn't be working retail. Others have said this is a good step to something else. I'm just looking at it as something steadier than theatre for a while and as a nice break from the job that made me dislike what i used to love.
But the best part of being full time at Marshall Fields is...HEALTH INSURANCE! [insert heavenly "ahhhhs" here]. That's right I will have health insurance as of July. Who excited? ME! Yay for being able to go to the doctor if I'm hemorrhaging!
But the best part of being full time at Marshall Fields is...HEALTH INSURANCE! [insert heavenly "ahhhhs" here]. That's right I will have health insurance as of July. Who excited? ME! Yay for being able to go to the doctor if I'm hemorrhaging!
Friday, May 26, 2006
Post-op recovery
Mom is doing ok...she'll be coming home later this afternoon. When I have the engery I'll blog about all the ridiculous things at the hospital. However, this post-op blog is about me. I'm trying to recover from the time with grandma thus far...and its not even over yet.
Initially we thought we'd go the hospital this morning and mom would come home early...around noon. But mom just called. Her calcium levels aren't high enough yet (due to nurses uanable to read instructions) so her doctor wants to wait a few hours. Mom won't be home til late afternoon and she asked us NOT to come to the hospital until she calls. No point in us sitting there for 5+ hours making her room hot and her sick. But, my grandma is pacing saying "we have to go...she can't sit there alone". And I'm like "well go then, but she asked us not to". And then there's dinner: I'm trying to offer to make things for dinner and she keeps turning it all down. then i find out that its because she doesn't think mom will eat it. Well if we only eat what mom can eat, we're having mashed potatoes and jello for dinner. Not necessarily a bad dinner, just not what i had in mind. So fuck it. When mom gets home we'll find out what she wants to eat. Grandma and Grandpa can do what they want and I can eat cheesecake for dinner....lots of cheesecake...and some vodka. Lots of vodka.
I know she means well. She's worried. She's trying to be helpful. But no, I will not hang towels in the windows to block out the sun. I know its warm. Leave the fans on...stop turning them off. And I know grandma is just trying to find something to do with her time. But saying we need to dust the house before mom gets home even though i just dusted on tuesday is not helpful. I know grandma dusts sher house everyday, but that's not normal.
I'm just looking forward to mom being home. I'm also looking forward to going back to work tonight and then again being there all day tomorrow. I'm really looking forwards to drinks tonight (it might even be a semi-date...at least I know I'm getting kissed).
Sorry for the rant...it needed to come out.
Initially we thought we'd go the hospital this morning and mom would come home early...around noon. But mom just called. Her calcium levels aren't high enough yet (due to nurses uanable to read instructions) so her doctor wants to wait a few hours. Mom won't be home til late afternoon and she asked us NOT to come to the hospital until she calls. No point in us sitting there for 5+ hours making her room hot and her sick. But, my grandma is pacing saying "we have to go...she can't sit there alone". And I'm like "well go then, but she asked us not to". And then there's dinner: I'm trying to offer to make things for dinner and she keeps turning it all down. then i find out that its because she doesn't think mom will eat it. Well if we only eat what mom can eat, we're having mashed potatoes and jello for dinner. Not necessarily a bad dinner, just not what i had in mind. So fuck it. When mom gets home we'll find out what she wants to eat. Grandma and Grandpa can do what they want and I can eat cheesecake for dinner....lots of cheesecake...and some vodka. Lots of vodka.
I know she means well. She's worried. She's trying to be helpful. But no, I will not hang towels in the windows to block out the sun. I know its warm. Leave the fans on...stop turning them off. And I know grandma is just trying to find something to do with her time. But saying we need to dust the house before mom gets home even though i just dusted on tuesday is not helpful. I know grandma dusts sher house everyday, but that's not normal.
I'm just looking forward to mom being home. I'm also looking forward to going back to work tonight and then again being there all day tomorrow. I'm really looking forwards to drinks tonight (it might even be a semi-date...at least I know I'm getting kissed).
Sorry for the rant...it needed to come out.
Tuesday, May 23, 2006
Cancer Be Gone!
Mom's thyroidectomy is tomorrow morning.
She has to be there bright and early at 7:00am. Matty and I will show up at 8:00am with doughnuts and juice for grandma & grandpa. We will play cribbage, and phase 10, and backgammon. We will think good thoughts. Grandma & Grandpa will be very nervous. I will try not to be. Matt will distract them. Rae will stop by- so will her mom.
Mom will come home two days later. She'll relax for a couple of weeks. Listen to my I-Tunes. Watch lots of movies. Read some books.
And the cancer will be gone.
I pray.
She has to be there bright and early at 7:00am. Matty and I will show up at 8:00am with doughnuts and juice for grandma & grandpa. We will play cribbage, and phase 10, and backgammon. We will think good thoughts. Grandma & Grandpa will be very nervous. I will try not to be. Matt will distract them. Rae will stop by- so will her mom.
Mom will come home two days later. She'll relax for a couple of weeks. Listen to my I-Tunes. Watch lots of movies. Read some books.
And the cancer will be gone.
I pray.
Saturday, May 20, 2006
Ducktales...Woo-ooo!
I now own this:
I'm pretty sure that makes me awesome.
It's also pretty awesome that I remember 90% of the opening song.
Who wants to come to the Ducktales party?
^
^
^
^
Ultimately I realize I'm a huge dork for owning this.
Thursday, May 18, 2006
Bring on the Summer!
Lets try this again...
I have come to the realization that I have 2 weeks left at the theatre. That's it...2 weeks. I won't be returning to the History Theatre next season and it seems unlikely that I will find a paying position at another theatre. So, I could be done with theatre all together...kind of sad but I'm not thinking of it that way yet. I aslo thought I'd be working on Corleone this summer but it turns out I won't....unless I can get to NYC, find a place to stay for a month, and be willing to work the NY Fringe Festival for free. Nice idea David Mann, but I can't do any of those things.
What I am left with is a theatre-less summer....for the first time in a few years. I'm actually really looking forward to this. There is a VERY good chance that i will be moved to a full time position at Marshall Fields which is slight step up and a slight pay increase. I will make more money this summer than I have in a long time which is great but kinda sad since its just retail. But, considering that the last few summers I've been getting paid $100 a week, anything is an improvement. In fact, there are many other benefits to not working theatre this summer. The theatre schedule is sooo busy during rehearsal (about 10 hours a day) and so strict during performance (every night except Mondays). Given that retail is much more forgiving here is a list of things I'm looking forward to for the summer:
-the store closes at 8:00pm so I will still have my evenings
-the store usually opens at 10:00am so I won't usually have to be at work before 9:15am
-bike rides! Rachel is buying a rack for her car and we will be hitting up bike trails around MN...40 mile Gateway Trail here we come!
-shopping: Jean we both get discounts at good stores...lets use each other! Fields will be clearancing all their store brand to make room for Macy's. I smell bargains!
-working out...gotta get back on that
-Zoo day with Jean and Travis, then Grand Old Creamery
-MMC block party
-Tony Sims Band in the summer
-grilling...though I have to buy a grill...or use Matt's dad's grill which is the size of my house!
-getting a tan...probably while doing yardwork
-time with Matty...camping?
-reading while laying on a blanket
-taking my new i-shuffle everywhere
-I can request time off!
-said time off will be used for...
*a trip to Mankato
*possible road trip with Jean & Lance
*time with Ryan around the 4th
*a weekend of Shakespeare in Winona
*a trip to California in September (i know that's not summer anymore, but i'm still putting it on the list) this trip will include a visit to Disneyland and embarrassing pictures of me with foam suit Disney characters. I miss my California:(
2 more weeks of theatre. Bring on the summer! I got stuff to do!
I have come to the realization that I have 2 weeks left at the theatre. That's it...2 weeks. I won't be returning to the History Theatre next season and it seems unlikely that I will find a paying position at another theatre. So, I could be done with theatre all together...kind of sad but I'm not thinking of it that way yet. I aslo thought I'd be working on Corleone this summer but it turns out I won't....unless I can get to NYC, find a place to stay for a month, and be willing to work the NY Fringe Festival for free. Nice idea David Mann, but I can't do any of those things.
What I am left with is a theatre-less summer....for the first time in a few years. I'm actually really looking forward to this. There is a VERY good chance that i will be moved to a full time position at Marshall Fields which is slight step up and a slight pay increase. I will make more money this summer than I have in a long time which is great but kinda sad since its just retail. But, considering that the last few summers I've been getting paid $100 a week, anything is an improvement. In fact, there are many other benefits to not working theatre this summer. The theatre schedule is sooo busy during rehearsal (about 10 hours a day) and so strict during performance (every night except Mondays). Given that retail is much more forgiving here is a list of things I'm looking forward to for the summer:
-the store closes at 8:00pm so I will still have my evenings
-the store usually opens at 10:00am so I won't usually have to be at work before 9:15am
-bike rides! Rachel is buying a rack for her car and we will be hitting up bike trails around MN...40 mile Gateway Trail here we come!
-shopping: Jean we both get discounts at good stores...lets use each other! Fields will be clearancing all their store brand to make room for Macy's. I smell bargains!
-working out...gotta get back on that
-Zoo day with Jean and Travis, then Grand Old Creamery
-MMC block party
-Tony Sims Band in the summer
-grilling...though I have to buy a grill...or use Matt's dad's grill which is the size of my house!
-getting a tan...probably while doing yardwork
-time with Matty...camping?
-reading while laying on a blanket
-taking my new i-shuffle everywhere
-I can request time off!
-said time off will be used for...
*a trip to Mankato
*possible road trip with Jean & Lance
*time with Ryan around the 4th
*a weekend of Shakespeare in Winona
*a trip to California in September (i know that's not summer anymore, but i'm still putting it on the list) this trip will include a visit to Disneyland and embarrassing pictures of me with foam suit Disney characters. I miss my California:(
2 more weeks of theatre. Bring on the summer! I got stuff to do!
fuck blogger
I just wrote a super long post about why i can't wait for the summer...and stupid ass motherfucking cocklicking blogger erasesd it.
If I have the patience to write it again today I will...til then...
FUCK YOU BLOGGER
If I have the patience to write it again today I will...til then...
FUCK YOU BLOGGER
Monday, May 08, 2006
thanks for a great birthday!
Just wanted to thank everyone for all the birthday wishes. AV, chad, Matt...thanks for the b-day greetings. Ryan and Lance, thanks for not posting the horrible picture post...i think the new tradition of cute pictures is a good one! And Jean where is my blender phone and hot guy?
However, despite not getting a fish sweater, I'm am now the proud owner of an adorable red leather purse (thanks Jean). Ducktales volume 1 is on its way thanks to Ryan, an IPod is coming to me via matty and my mom, and Lance sent me $$$ to go see/buy movies. Thanks everyone!!! I also received many gift cards for barnes and noble...perhaps my favorite store.
We had a great time at the MMC thursday night. Much Much alcohol was cosumed...mostly by me. Lets see...matt bought me shots, rae bought me shots, Tony bought me shots....I think the grand total was about 7 shots and 5 beers....pretty good for a girl who didn't eat much that day! There was much drunken dancing and picture taking. Thanks guys! Oh...and we met Rae's new boy!
However, despite not getting a fish sweater, I'm am now the proud owner of an adorable red leather purse (thanks Jean). Ducktales volume 1 is on its way thanks to Ryan, an IPod is coming to me via matty and my mom, and Lance sent me $$$ to go see/buy movies. Thanks everyone!!! I also received many gift cards for barnes and noble...perhaps my favorite store.
We had a great time at the MMC thursday night. Much Much alcohol was cosumed...mostly by me. Lets see...matt bought me shots, rae bought me shots, Tony bought me shots....I think the grand total was about 7 shots and 5 beers....pretty good for a girl who didn't eat much that day! There was much drunken dancing and picture taking. Thanks guys! Oh...and we met Rae's new boy!
Tuesday, May 02, 2006
Welcome Maties!
Per Ryan's request you all have pirate's names now. If I didn't know your full name I used your blog name to generate the fabulous pirate names. I find it odd that Matt, who has no hair, is called Jolly Mullet. Chad, as Sealegs Rackham I assume that you are my swashbuckling brother and will inherit all my booty should I perish on the high seas. Hope you enjoy your pirate names! For a more accurate and amusing time, check out this pirate name survey and let me know what you get! That's where I got Captain Scarlett Rackham.
CAPTAIN SCARLETT RACKHAM
Thanks for all your imput...I combined a few to create a name that commands respect. People at work actually call me this...on headset I say "Yarrrr" when people ask me things. I think I may have found a new career. Ruamor also has it that there is a foam pirate hat in the works...I love our prop master! Pictures of my first mate are on the way...he's a bit camera shy.
Here's a pirate joke: A pirate walks into a bar and he has a ships wheel stuck in his pants. The bartended says, "hey captain, you got a wheel in your pants." The pirate says, "I know. It's drivin me nuts!"
It works best when you use a pirate voice. I laughed a lot. But it could have been cuz i was drunk and tired when I heard it.
Here's a pirate joke: A pirate walks into a bar and he has a ships wheel stuck in his pants. The bartended says, "hey captain, you got a wheel in your pants." The pirate says, "I know. It's drivin me nuts!"
It works best when you use a pirate voice. I laughed a lot. But it could have been cuz i was drunk and tired when I heard it.
Monday, May 01, 2006
6 letter word
I can think of lots of six letter words; donkey, vacuum, videos, cereal, orange, kitten...but last Thursday I discovered a really big 6 letter word: CANCER. That's a big word. It's only 6 little letters but it's huge. The big C word.
Last week we found out that my mom has thyroid cancer. Amazing what changes when that word enters your life. We've dealt with cancer in my family before. 2 years ago, my aunt had uterine cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. That was big too...I vividly remember finding out, crawling into bed with Ryan in St. Louis and crying. But now its here...in my house...in my mom.
Words are now in my vocabulary that I didn't even know before. Papillary thyroid cancer (the "best kind to get" if there is one) is now a term I know. Endochronologists are doctors that I will visit with my mom. Hypoparathyroidism is a complication. Radioactive-iodine treatment will be the next step in the even surgery doesn't remove it all....
So many words and terms have become part of me in the last 4 days.
I'm dealing with it better than I thought...of course when I first heard the word cancer in relation to my mom I lost it. But after about 15 minutes of sobbing at work I realized what's the point? Nothing we can do but get through this. It's shitty....really really shitty. But it could be worse...and we'll deal with that if it comes.
We have the first appointment with the surgeon today to find out how soon the thyroidectomy needs to be done. Auntie Di comes up this week to celebrate the big 25 with me. We'll go to Tony Sims. They'll see Farm Boys (a GREAT show at my theatre...come see it). And we'll try not to talk to much about the big 6 letter word.
Last week we found out that my mom has thyroid cancer. Amazing what changes when that word enters your life. We've dealt with cancer in my family before. 2 years ago, my aunt had uterine cancer and had to have a hysterectomy. That was big too...I vividly remember finding out, crawling into bed with Ryan in St. Louis and crying. But now its here...in my house...in my mom.
Words are now in my vocabulary that I didn't even know before. Papillary thyroid cancer (the "best kind to get" if there is one) is now a term I know. Endochronologists are doctors that I will visit with my mom. Hypoparathyroidism is a complication. Radioactive-iodine treatment will be the next step in the even surgery doesn't remove it all....
So many words and terms have become part of me in the last 4 days.
I'm dealing with it better than I thought...of course when I first heard the word cancer in relation to my mom I lost it. But after about 15 minutes of sobbing at work I realized what's the point? Nothing we can do but get through this. It's shitty....really really shitty. But it could be worse...and we'll deal with that if it comes.
We have the first appointment with the surgeon today to find out how soon the thyroidectomy needs to be done. Auntie Di comes up this week to celebrate the big 25 with me. We'll go to Tony Sims. They'll see Farm Boys (a GREAT show at my theatre...come see it). And we'll try not to talk to much about the big 6 letter word.
Wednesday, April 26, 2006
A Pirate's Life for Me
I'm in the middle of tech week for Farm Boys which is going to be a very good show. The weekend was a little hectic, but I only thought of walking out or getting drunk on the job twice so that's not too bad. And tonight will be good cuz we're going drinking after rehearsal. But yester REALLY made my day....
At the end of the play these barn doors are supposed to slowly/magically open...enter: ME
Well the door weren't really working very well the first two days. So we have a new method...lets use a hand crank winch (which sounds like wench) so that mechanical force is working WITH me to open these doors...smart huh? So I go in to work yesterday and backstage there is a ships wheel...a big steering wheel from a boat. I laughed my ass off! Apparently the steel bars from the winch posed a hazard so they put the ships wheel over them...instant piratre ship for Shannon!!!! I haven't taken pictures yet, but I guarentee some Kodak moments will be occuring back there. I already have a pirate flag hangin above the wheel and I have my first mate. Skippy. A fake crow with a lime green eye patch. Yarrrrr.
So now I need a pirate name. Suprisingly there are a number of pirate name generators online. I tried a few and come up with some options. Oddly enough, even though no questions referred to body type, many of the names refer to my bosom (as a pirate might say). So here are the names...which one do ya like?
Captain Charity Rackham (my fav so far)
Sealegs Prudence
Busty Shannon Blackwater (my least fav)
Bloody Shannon Scarlett
Captain Charity Goodfellow
At the end of the play these barn doors are supposed to slowly/magically open...enter: ME
Well the door weren't really working very well the first two days. So we have a new method...lets use a hand crank winch (which sounds like wench) so that mechanical force is working WITH me to open these doors...smart huh? So I go in to work yesterday and backstage there is a ships wheel...a big steering wheel from a boat. I laughed my ass off! Apparently the steel bars from the winch posed a hazard so they put the ships wheel over them...instant piratre ship for Shannon!!!! I haven't taken pictures yet, but I guarentee some Kodak moments will be occuring back there. I already have a pirate flag hangin above the wheel and I have my first mate. Skippy. A fake crow with a lime green eye patch. Yarrrrr.
So now I need a pirate name. Suprisingly there are a number of pirate name generators online. I tried a few and come up with some options. Oddly enough, even though no questions referred to body type, many of the names refer to my bosom (as a pirate might say). So here are the names...which one do ya like?
Captain Charity Rackham (my fav so far)
Sealegs Prudence
Busty Shannon Blackwater (my least fav)
Bloody Shannon Scarlett
Captain Charity Goodfellow
Monday, April 10, 2006
Today is a good day
It's gorgeous outside! It's currently 73 degrees and even though I'm about to leave for work I'm in a good mood. I spent over an hour outside (before the neighboor kids got home from school) putting out the deck furniture, racking up stray leaves, uncover our flowers, and trimming back the rose bush (which only bit back once). Then I grabbed a book and a diet cherry coke and sat outside and read. I loved it. I'm also getting used to my new hair color...which is another story....
The Clairol company can kiss my ass for discontinuing Herbal Essences #61.5 spiced terra. That is my hair color...it has been since this summer. So fuck you for getting rid of it. However, in honor of spring, I decided to go brighter. I am now Molten Lava. I was Molten Lava once before, but it seems brighter this time . It's a bit blinding in the sun, so put on your shades folks! But it's bold, it's pretty, and it's kinda sexy, which for some inexplicable reason is how I'm feeling today!
The Clairol company can kiss my ass for discontinuing Herbal Essences #61.5 spiced terra. That is my hair color...it has been since this summer. So fuck you for getting rid of it. However, in honor of spring, I decided to go brighter. I am now Molten Lava. I was Molten Lava once before, but it seems brighter this time . It's a bit blinding in the sun, so put on your shades folks! But it's bold, it's pretty, and it's kinda sexy, which for some inexplicable reason is how I'm feeling today!
Wednesday, April 05, 2006
Thank you getty images and Andy Warhol impersonator for perfectly showing how I felt last night and what I'm working on getting over. Except I'm not blonde...and the real boy doesn't look like Clark Kent/Superman. Damn I'm a stupid girl!
Monday, April 03, 2006
I'm a cat, I'm a kitty cat...
Some of you (especially Jean) may remember the last time I house/cat sat. Well I did it again last week. I spent 5 days at the house and with the sweet adorable cat. Unlike last time (when she occasionally hissed at me), she decided that I'm cool now. Cute kitty Widget followed me around the whole time I was there. If I was sitting she was in my lap. She layed on the bed next to me. In the morning when I was feeling lazy and laying on the couch in my pjs, she layed on my tummy and purred. It was great. It made me really want a pet...cuz fish don't count.
Ordinarily I'm not really a cat person. Cats are kind of snobby. The walk on your shit as if they own it...in fact they think they DO own it. You are there to cater to them and do their every bidding. Plus there's the hair...ALL OF THE DAMN CAT HAIR! How can an animal lose that much hair and not go bald????
But I out all of that aside when Widget would come out when I came home from work and sit at my feet and Meow. And when she'd nudge my hand with her head while I was watching 6 Feet Under. And when she layed on her back and rolled around just begging for her tummy to be rubbed. She was damned cute and I may just be a cat person now....if it weren't for the hair.
Monday, March 13, 2006
Updates
The show is open now. Here is the previously mentioned list of things I like:
- -There is a song called Slant Eyed Bitch. That makes me laugh.
- -No gun anymore( but now I make a rather realistic gun noise by wailing on a 1x4 with a huge rubber mallet.
- -The show is only 2 hours long approx.
- -Some of the music is kinda cool.
- -Supposedly I’m getting paid more for the added performances.
- -I don’t have to do any costume changes.
- -We have a bet going how many times we’ll start on time. So far we’re at zero. Opening night the 16 year old (who may be the death of me) showed up at 4 minutes to curtain. This isn’t necessarily something I like, but it makes me laugh. Sometimes all you can do is smile and shake your head.
- -I’ve already shoveled 10” of snow today… more on that later I’m sure.
- -I bartended at the Fitz last night for the 1st time in months…tips were very nice!
- -I got a whopping .20c raise at Marshall Field’s for being such an outstanding employee.
- -I talked to my manager about the incident with weird kid. She’s also concerned…luckily he’s still within the 90 day probationary period. Perhaps my days with weird kid are numbered.
- -Cross your fingers that Corleone will be performed in July. That means I’ll have job and a fun show to stage manage.
- -It’s still snowing.
Thursday, March 09, 2006
Snapshots: My Job is Shitty
You may recall this from last fall. Well, I'm officially in the middle of tech for Snapshots: Life in the City. We open in 3 days. The good thing is that there is now sheet music. Although I'd like to point out that as of Tuesday, the cast was still learning music. And blocking. And lines. And choreography. I suppose maybe that's typical of musicals, but it makes it different when the cast is made up of 14 people (most under the age of 26) who don't like to show up on time. Its definitely going to be interesting show.
Also, I'm trying really hard not to get sucked into the negativity vortex that is the History Theatre, but I fear it may be too late. I'm starting to get really crabby at work. Here's a few reasons why: I have to fire a gun in the show. An 8mm semi automatic gun that fires blanks. I'm kinda excited about this, but nervous. I've never used a gun before. On top of that, the gun doesn't seem to be working properly. It always jams after one shot....I'm supposed to fire off 7. So I've never been able to do the whole sequence, which is frustrating. Additionally, there is only one person who seems really intent on helping me with this. Being completely understanding and answers all my questions and offers help. Is it the tech director? NO. Is the the stage manager? NO. Is it the props mater? NO. It's the master electrician. Last I checked guns weren't electircal, so it's not his job, but I'm grateful for his help anyway.
Reason #2 for crabbiness: Yesterday my SM asked me if I had paperwork for her. Usually I turn in paperwork on opening day since we're making changes up until then. But she said she just needed to make sure I had it and was doing it. Now some of you may not know about my anal tendencey of updating paperwork every 2 hours during shows. I kinda take pride in the fact that my paperwork is so organized and now my SM needs to check up on me??? This, by the way, is the SM who I have had to call to make sure she was awake for the morning matinees last year. Ok...now that I've ranted, I'm over it.
Well, I'm off to rehearsal. Next time I post the show will be open and perhaps I'll have a list of things I like about it!
Also, I'm trying really hard not to get sucked into the negativity vortex that is the History Theatre, but I fear it may be too late. I'm starting to get really crabby at work. Here's a few reasons why: I have to fire a gun in the show. An 8mm semi automatic gun that fires blanks. I'm kinda excited about this, but nervous. I've never used a gun before. On top of that, the gun doesn't seem to be working properly. It always jams after one shot....I'm supposed to fire off 7. So I've never been able to do the whole sequence, which is frustrating. Additionally, there is only one person who seems really intent on helping me with this. Being completely understanding and answers all my questions and offers help. Is it the tech director? NO. Is the the stage manager? NO. Is it the props mater? NO. It's the master electrician. Last I checked guns weren't electircal, so it's not his job, but I'm grateful for his help anyway.
Reason #2 for crabbiness: Yesterday my SM asked me if I had paperwork for her. Usually I turn in paperwork on opening day since we're making changes up until then. But she said she just needed to make sure I had it and was doing it. Now some of you may not know about my anal tendencey of updating paperwork every 2 hours during shows. I kinda take pride in the fact that my paperwork is so organized and now my SM needs to check up on me??? This, by the way, is the SM who I have had to call to make sure she was awake for the morning matinees last year. Ok...now that I've ranted, I'm over it.
Well, I'm off to rehearsal. Next time I post the show will be open and perhaps I'll have a list of things I like about it!
Monday, March 06, 2006
Weird Kid story #2
I called Marshall Fields this weekend to get the schedule that came out on Friday. ( I went in on Friday to get it but it wasn't done yet which is a whole other annoyance). When I called, I asked to be transferred to men's because there are usually more people in that department than home...So if it was by some miracle busy the men's people would more likely answer. Big mistake....Huge! Weird kid answers. As soon as I heard his voice on the other end I knew that this was going to be a struggle. I knew that getting to him to look in the binder right next to phone and tell me if my name was on the schedule was going to be difficult. Here's how it went:
"Men's, can I help you?"
"Hi Jake it's Shannon O'Brien"
"Uuhhhh...huh?"
"I work with you."
"Oh yeah, hi"
"I was hoping you could tell me my schedule for the next week,"
SILENCE
"You know Jake the one that just came out."
"Which one that just came out?"
"It'll have the dates March 12-18 on it."
"Oh yeah, its out"
SILENCE. For Pete's sake...
"Am I on it?"
"For MArch 12th?"
"Well, I suppose Jake, for March 12th...and the rest of the week."
"Yeah, you're on it."
PAUSE. At this point I'm thinking about hanging up and trying the people in Home.
"When am I on it Jake?"
"You're on it 3 times."
"Could you tell me when those are?"
"Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday."
"Are there any times listed there Jake?"
"Oh yeah......."
Here is when Jake FINALLY gives me my schedule.
I knew it would be a struggle and I was right. Poor Jake. I think he has some processing issues.
That was another story brought to you by Weird Kid!
"Men's, can I help you?"
"Hi Jake it's Shannon O'Brien"
"Uuhhhh...huh?"
"I work with you."
"Oh yeah, hi"
"I was hoping you could tell me my schedule for the next week,"
SILENCE
"You know Jake the one that just came out."
"Which one that just came out?"
"It'll have the dates March 12-18 on it."
"Oh yeah, its out"
SILENCE. For Pete's sake...
"Am I on it?"
"For MArch 12th?"
"Well, I suppose Jake, for March 12th...and the rest of the week."
"Yeah, you're on it."
PAUSE. At this point I'm thinking about hanging up and trying the people in Home.
"When am I on it Jake?"
"You're on it 3 times."
"Could you tell me when those are?"
"Monday, Tuesday, and Wednesday."
"Are there any times listed there Jake?"
"Oh yeah......."
Here is when Jake FINALLY gives me my schedule.
I knew it would be a struggle and I was right. Poor Jake. I think he has some processing issues.
That was another story brought to you by Weird Kid!
Wednesday, March 01, 2006
Guess Who's Coming to Dinner
I hosted a dinner party last week and it was fairly successful. My friend Rae and I decided that we'd cook dinner for our friend Matt. Matt has hosted many dinner parties (including one that resulted in at least one case of alcohol poisoning) and we thought it was about time to return the favor. Since he bought cook books for his friends for Christmas, we knew we'd be able to find something. The party-goers included Matt, Jean, my mom, Rae's mom, Rae, and me. There was lots of wine, lots of food, and lot and LOTS of laughter.
Jeanie & Matt (I think that's what Matt called her when he was drunk at the bar later that night...that's right we still went to TSB night after all this!)
I look like shit because I'd been cooking for 4 hours at this point!
I have no idea what prompted this...Jean looks a bit confused too.
But, why not join it??? Drunk Michelle added a whole new element.
Well, that was the night...
We had a ton of fun and I can't wait to do it again!!!!
The Menu:
-antipasto salad including garlic stuffed olives, marinated garbonzo beans, and mushrooms (among other things)
-Tuscan Tortellini Soup (soooo easy to make and it looks like it took hours)
-chicken parmigiana with seared polenta and braised artichokes (that were too lemony)
-gingered shortcake with dried figs and cherries with whipped cream
-pinot noir, sauvignon blanc, chardonnay, champagne
The food was all pretty tasty and none of it was too difficult to make. Rachels mom is drunk after 1/2 a glass of wine which made the night even better. Matt said, "You need to come to all of my dinner parties to make them more fun!" She was hilarious. While Rae and I were making dessert, she made Matt hold a "Napkin Folding Class.
-antipasto salad including garlic stuffed olives, marinated garbonzo beans, and mushrooms (among other things)-Tuscan Tortellini Soup (soooo easy to make and it looks like it took hours)
-chicken parmigiana with seared polenta and braised artichokes (that were too lemony)-gingered shortcake with dried figs and cherries with whipped cream
-pinot noir, sauvignon blanc, chardonnay, champagne
The food was all pretty tasty and none of it was too difficult to make. Rachels mom is drunk after 1/2 a glass of wine which made the night even better. Matt said, "You need to come to all of my dinner parties to make them more fun!" She was hilarious. While Rae and I were making dessert, she made Matt hold a "Napkin Folding Class.
Notice the bottles and wine glasses...so much drinking!
Other random pics....
Jeanie & Matt (I think that's what Matt called her when he was drunk at the bar later that night...that's right we still went to TSB night after all this!)
I look like shit because I'd been cooking for 4 hours at this point!
I have no idea what prompted this...Jean looks a bit confused too.
But, why not join it??? Drunk Michelle added a whole new element.
Well, that was the night...
We had a ton of fun and I can't wait to do it again!!!!
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