Monday, October 09, 2006

Happy Columbus Day!

Its Columbus Day. A day we don't really celebrate anymore. I remember when I was a kid we used to get the day off from school. I don't think kids get it off anymore. In fact the only reason I'm writing about Columbus Day is because of something that happened at work.

Like many many retail stores, Macy's has a Columbus Day Sale. Why is that? "Celebrate the accidental discovery of the Western Hemisphere by purchasing crap you don't need! PS we had the same sale last week and will have it again next week only with a different name."

Anyway, it is what it is and many stores have a sale by this name. But yesterday a woman called our store to protest. She and a group of her angry friends were sitting at her home calling various stores to voice their frustration about Columbus Day sales. "Why would you have a sale that celebrates a murderer, rapist, and slave trader? I'm never shopping their again!" The manager calmly explained that the corporate sales staff set up the ad /sale campaigns and we just run them. We didn't come up with it, we're just putting up the signs. I'm sure this lady thought that the St. Paul Macy's had the brilliant idea to have a Columbus Day sale that no other Macy's was having. Cuz in St. Paul we like Italian men who borrow money from the Spanish and Portuguese and accidentally land NEAR America. We like to celebrate that.

After realizing that we wouldn't do anything about her complaint, I assume the woman went on to call Herbergers, Sears, JC Penny's and whomever else is having a Columbus Day Sale. I wish I had that lady's problems!

Monday, October 02, 2006

Retail Crazies

The crazies are out prowling the retail stores of downtown Saint Paul. I’m convinced that we’re close to a full moon and somehow that makes the crazies gravitate toward me at work. It’s like lunar tide pulls except with mentally unstable people….

3 days ago I was confronted with the oddest question I’ve ever been asked: “Do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”

Let me start at the beginning:
A woman came up to the counter and asked to speak to a manager. I asked what it was in regards to so that I could contact the correct manager. She said that it was in regards to our sexual harassment policy. At this point I was concerned that perhaps something had happened to her.
“Ma’am have you been harassed in our store?”
“No. I just want to know what your policy is.”
“We have a strict no harassment policy here. What can I do for you?”
She launches into this story about some man who was calling her a “witch” and shouting anti-Semitic things at her in the Wells-Fargo Building. Supposedly, this man works for MNSCU who has an office in the Wells Fargo building.
“Ma’am I’m terribly sorry that that happened to you. I suggest that you talk to the security at Wells Fargo. If nothing happened in our store, our security can’t do anything.”
“But what if he follows me in here?”
“If you ever feel threatened in our store, find any employee and we’ll get our security involved.”

Here’s where it gets crazy:
“I have one more question. Do you have people here who sexually harass your customers?”
“What do you mean ma’am?”
“Well, do you hire people to sexually harass your customers?”
I’m dumbfounded
“No ma’am why would we do that?”
“I don’t know, why would you?”
Touché. I can’t answer that. Why would we? Then comes one last big question.
“Do you sexually harass people?”
WHAT?!?!?
“No ma’am I don’t.”
And I’m thinking if I did, she wouldn’t have been my first choice of targets.
I kindly asked the woman to leave at that point. WTF? Do we hire people to harass customers? Do I harass customers? It’s gotta be a full moon.