Monday, July 31, 2006

Ok...I have a hilarious photo to post and blog to write about someone from Thursday night at the MMC, but I'm just not in the mood. I got some pretty awful family news yesterday resulting in a funeral to attend towards the end of the week.

But, the good thing is that someone really took care of me last night. He listened while i was upset. Told me to let it out...and i sorta did, which isn't easy. Then just at the right moment he changed the subject. He didn't try to make me happy, just tried to distract me from the shittiness of life. And then......he sang me to sleep. It could only have been better if he were with me hugging me rather than me hugging the stuffed giraffe that is his namesake. I'm so thankful for him.

But the point is that sometime soon a hilarious photo will be here...as soon as I'm up to accurately describing the character.

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

An Open Letter to centipedes

Dear Centipede family living in my house,

Please move out. I understand that it's ungodly hot outside and that your little feet probably get burnt on the hot cement, but that is no reason for you to come into my home. I would greatly appreciate it if you left. If however, you insist on living here (rent free I might add), then please refrain from coming out in the open. Stick to the pipes and inside the walls or wherever it is you have set up you little condos.

You may have noticed that some of your family members have gone missing recently. That is because they did not comply with the aforementioned request of staying hidden. For example, do not hang out on top of the washing machine in the basement. When I walk in to do a load of whites I do not want to meet your gaze. Nor do I want to see you scamper down the side of the washer and run in circles on the basement floor trying to predict my move. I will squish you with the laundry detergent bottle. It will hurt. I will not feel bad.

Hanging out in my shower is another sure way to die. I do not appreciate opening my shower door and finding one of you chillin' in there. I will slam the door as I gasp and curse your name. Then I will retrieve the laundry detergent bottle once again. Just be glad I didn't squirt you with soap scum remover which was the closest thing to me at the time. That would have been more painful that being squished.

Let these examples be a lesson. I do not want you here. I can ignore your existence if I do not see you. But your visible presence will provoke unapologetic violence. If you value your lives you will move out or stay hidden.

Sincerely,
Shannon

Surprise!

Lance Bass of `N Sync reveals he's gay
Are any of us really suprised???
I like that he says, "I knew that I was in this popular band and I had four other guys' careers in my hand...".
Enough said.

Saturday, July 22, 2006

Professor Poopypants names us all!

I was feeling very childish this morning as I was whining about having to go into work. Luckily for me (and all of you) i received an email from a friend including this link. It's hilarious...if you're 9 years old. Or you're me right now. So, welcome to your new blog titles everyone! Love, Snotty Burgerchunks

Monday, July 17, 2006

Blog Neglect

I have neglected my blog. I'm a bad blogger. I feel guilty about it. The lack of writing has been because of a lack of material. I think it's the heat and the boredom of summer. It's been sort of a dull summer for me...especially knowing that time is slowly ticking down to my vacation to California. But, this past weekend I went with Rae to Taylor's Falls with her boy and a great weekend on the lake. Swimming, poking butts with water noodles, drinking, eating, drinking, more swimming (naked)...it was a good time...pictures coming soon (but not of the nakedness).

I would, however, like to take the time to mention a few things I've learned lately, mostly at work.

  • -It’s ok to steal from your co-workers. There have been three separate thefts from the Fields Express (my team) office over the last two weeks. None of my money has been stolen, but I’m still outraged at the fact that the company is doing nothing to catch the person we KNOW is doing this. I don’t bring money to work anymore when “thief girl” is working. The security guys will chase people out of the store who steal an $8.00 clearance item, but they do nothing when over $150.00 has been stolen from the employees.

  • -Weird kid still works at Field’s even though he’s had about 10 “no call no show” days. How is that allowed?

  • -A crazy woman who is employed as a “banquet server” came into work and ranted to me about how our display tables were set improperly. Our cups and saucers ands napkins were in the wrong spot. This clearly warrants rearranging the table immediately (even though she doesn’t work at Field’s) as well as leaving a comment card for the store manger informing him of the atrocity.

  • -Women are disgusting. PAY ATTENTION LADIES. DO NOT LEAVE FITTING ROOMS FULL OF CLOTHES!!! I walked into 3 fitting rooms that were shin deep (NO LIE!) in swim suits. SHIN DEEP!!! Do you know how many swim suits that is??? Pick ‘em up ladies!

  • -When filling out the online job application within the store, it is apparently ok to grab a current employee and ask what the correct answers are to the subjective questions.

  • -And finally….something I noticed at Target.

This is a real product. Great name.