Oh my god

Britney Spears pregnant and nude.
You have got to be kidding me.
That's all I have to say.

Dance Time Fantastic

Last week was perhaps one of the best weeks ever at the MMC. EVER!

First of all, Jean and I smelled nice...Tony even said so. So that's a plus. Any day is a good day when you smell nice.

Secondly, it was "make out on the dance floor" night. Always one of my favorites. I love watching a man's hand slide all the way up a woman's skirt while they are grinding to Billy Jean. I think more old people should make out. You can never have enough of that either.

Thirdly, I would like to thank "smells like teen spirit" and "Johann Sebastian Mohawk" for asking Jean to dance. "Smells like teen spirit" had the dance moves of Dustin Hoffman in Rainman. I thought maybe he was upset because he burned the toast like in the movie. Johann Sebastian Mohawk thought he could woo Jean (even though he didn't really talk to her). He also thought he could dance. He also had a mohawk.

But the thing that tops 'em all is Leopard Queen.

Sir I would like to congratulate you on your fashion sense. Bravo! You wear animal print like no one I've seen before. You have legs that don't quit and a waist that models are envious of. You also have a fancy mustache and shiny bangle bracelets. Your dance moves are far superior to anyone else's. I cannot compete with you sir, nor would I want to. Thank you for making my night. Words cannot do this man justice so I will allow the pictures to speak for themselves.

gimme a cookie

After the shitty shitty day i had at work (which began with a customer spilling coffee on me and ending with a fellow employee yelling at me) I deserve a giant cookie. Just like this squirrel. I think his was a pecan sandie, but I'm not too picky.

Are we on cops?

It's probably hard to tell what this is but it is a cop in my backyard with a rifle...a loaded and ready to fire rifle. Let me tell you all a little story:

My mom, her friend Carol and I are having a delicious dinner when all of a sudden Carol says, "there's someone in your back yard". So mom goes to the kitchen and she says, "its a cop!". Then she opens the door. The cop steps back from behind a tree and is holding a rife. He says "don't come out here" so she closes the door. Being nosy, we're all looking out the windows. There are like 6 cops with rifles and pistols pointed at our neighbors house. They were hiding behind shit and turning corners with the guns pointed. This went on for like 30 minutes then they just left and never told us anything about what they were doing. I think we'll just keep our doors permenantly locked! God I love my neighborhood!