All I Want for Christmas

It just won't be Christmas without these special things under the tree...

A nice wicker sofa for relaxing winter days.


This lovely flamingo Christmas sweater.


I've always wanted a cute puppy to play with


Now, if I had this I wouldn't have to
work out nearly as often.


How handy is this?!?!? A blender and a phone???
All in one?? I can make smoothies and talk one the
phone at the same time!!!! How perfect!


That's what I want people! 12 shopping days left!

Feelin Good

I've had my fitness DVDs for 5 days now. I've worked out 3 times and am feeling pretty good about it. This may not sound like much to those of you who work out often, but this is good for me. I've stuck to the schedule I've laid out for myself and while it hasn't even been a week yet, I've done well. I've been eating well without denying myself anything. I know that if I "diet" I won't stick to it. So, if I want ice cream, I have it...but only one small scoop instead of the Lalapalooza size portion I may desire. But cereal & fruit for breakfast, salad for lunch, a healthy dinner and I'm feeling pretty good. It's gonna get harder with my fucked up work schedule, but I'll do my best to be healthy when I have to eat out too.
Kickboxing is hard...a little fast for me still, but I'll get it. The aerobics "female Fat Zones" is awesome...nice mix or arms, abs, and legs using weights and the ball. My abs hurt and I love it!!!

Smokey Jr. meets Smokey D

So, Jean, just to update you on the goings on at the MMC last week:
Smokey Jr. (Dan from Fuji Ya) joined us. I have a feeling he'll be back. The wine drinkers eat at Fuji Ya often and told Dan he had a twin, so Matt and I got him to meet us at the MMC after work. He and Smokey met and think they look nothing alike. Sorry guys...we're not trying to pigeon hole you or anything, but you do look pretty similar! But anyway, Matt, Rae, Dan, and the wine drinkers spent the night drinking and dancing. A lot of drinking and dancing. The wine drinkers bought us shots and dragged on the dance floor. Mr. Wine Drinker was spinning me around like crazy...it was fun...until he tried to make me dance with George. Now George (with his cigarettes rolled up in his sleeve a la The Outsiders) is a great dancer. Very talented, but a little creepy. After Rae danced with him a few times he started asking her out and stuff...and he was more than a little grabby with the other dancers last week. I thought it best for me not to dance with him given I can't dance and don't want to be groped by George.
But Jean, it was a good night. The band was great, the cigarettes (I'm ashamed) were a welcomed addition, and there were encores aplenty. Tony once again reminded me that he erads the blogs and as he gave me the "rock star hug" (the hug given to groupies) he told me to "keep rockin' baby". I will Tony, I will.

Blogging potpourri

So I haven't written in a while...things have been a bit busy and I haven't really had the desire to write, though there have been plenty of things to write about. So, here's a quick review of blog worthy events, thoughts, and ramblings...

Thanksgiving:
It was one of the best I can remember having. Mom, brother, Jean and I spent a day of cooking, eating, a gaming. Jean and I totally kicked ass (not really, but we still won) at Cranium. If you're ever playing charades, pray to God that Jean isn't on your team. Even she blames herself for our initial suckiness. The food was great. I once reclaimed my title of Best Mashed Potatoes, and Jean will confirm that "I've outdone myself again". They were fucking delicious. Dinner was followed up by naps, pie, and a night of Tony Sims. Jean has pictures of the Thanksgiving Whore that we met at the MMC that night. She also has pictures of the man who danced with the mentally challenged woman. These drunk people had this poor woman out on the dance floor whipping her about...I hope she was having fun cuz she mostly looked confused. After dancing off and 1/8 of what we ate, it was time to head home and put Thanksgiving to bed.

Working retail the weekend after Thanksgiving:
Black Friday wasn't too bad for me. I lucked out and only had to work for 3 1/2 hours at Marshall Fields. It was pretty busy, but nothing horrific. Sunday night however, was a night from hell. Our thanksgiving sale (including doorbusters) extended thru Sunday. But the company didn't take that into consideration when scheduling. There were 2 of us...its a big department (bed & bath, china, housewares). The woman I worked with spent more time shopping than working. The customers were bitches and there were coupons involved. Coupons are never good. They make people CRAZY! I spent the whole night explaining that we were out of some things that were on such a great sale (Gee...you wait until the last hour of the busiest shopping weekend of the year and expect everything to be in stock?!?!). I had to tell 3 people over the phone that I couldn't take coupons over the phone...especially not for the $300 luggage purchase over the phone. If you can't manage to make it here over the course of the last 3 days, you don't deserve the sale...you're not a good shopper. And no I will not hold these items until Wednesday because you're in Texas for Thanksgiving. Ma'am you're actually calling me from Texas on your cell phone while you're supposed to be with your family! No! So yeah...I love retail! And I'm going to continue to love it for the next 4 weeks!

Being Fat:
Well, long story short, I'm done being fat. At least that's what I'm thinking now. I've sadly already begun the holiday weight gain trend and I'm going to try to nip it in the bud early...perhaps even work off last years holiday pounds. That's why (as of Friday's mail delivery) I will be the proud owner of a cardio kick boxing DVD (sure to knock my ass out) and a "Female Fat Zones" Aerobics tape designed to "help with those trouble areas of tummy, butt, hips, and arms". That DVD has no idea how much work it has ahead of it. These DVDs are in lieu of joining a gym which I realistically have neither the time nor the money for. Of course, when talking to a friend about my weight concerns (looking for advice) he tells me to "stop making excises and feeling sorry for myself". What a motivational tool! An asshole man telling me to stop whining and just lose the weight. But that's ok...I'm over it. And I'll show him by (hopefully) being in better shape by February without whining at all between now and then. Warning: Jean and Ryan, that means you're gonna get the brunt of my pain and frustration.

Well, other than that, not much else. Christmas of Swing opened at the History Theatre last weekend, and so far so good. Jean, Matt, and Chad saw it opening night...glad you all enjoyed it. Matt, I'm still waiting for that cake. Look forward to mare entries about annoying actors and gay men backstage saying things like "Shannon I want to show you something" and then unzipping their pants. God I love my job sometimes!

I'm a Duo Celebrity

This one is mostly for Chad and Ryan (does Chad even read this?) but Jean and Lance will be amused as well perhaps.
Last night I'm working at Marshall Fields, otherwise known and the joy of my existance, and I'm working in the Men's Department. I'm straigtening ties (something that sort gives me an odd satisfaction) and a woman wanders into the area.

"Can I help you find anything specific ma'am?"
"Well, I'm looking for ties for my son. He's on the speech team."

Ahh yes, High School speech team. Mom buys ties for son.

"Oh, that's great! I was on the speech team in high school and college."
"In college? Wow! what events did you do?"
"Oh, a little bit of everything."
"Well my son is in Duo. He and his partner went shopping this weekend to pick out shirts that would match. Now I'm looking for ties."

I was in heaven! Picking out ties for Duo partners? This is one of my gifts....right Ryan?

"So did you and your partner match your suits?"

Did we ever! Best dressed duo in the state (no offense Chad)

"Yes, ma'am we did. His ties matched my suit, our shirts coordinated...we matched."
"So how did you do? Were you good?"

This one sort of surpirsed me. Does it matter? It was years ago. My forensic skills do not affect my tie matching skills.

"Well, we were pretty good. We were statechampions twice and won some national awards too."
"Really? Oh my! That's wonderful. And I bet its so much harder in college! Oh gosh....my son will be so excited that a state dup champion was helping pick out his ties! Oh this is just wonderful! I can't wait to tell him. A state champion!"

I think this woman was more excited that when we won the state tourney! She was so crazy about it...it was pretty funny. So yeah. I must admit that it was kinda fun picking out ties with her for a duo team. They got some nice Kenneth Cole ties to go with a great Geoffrey Beene shirt. Kinda brought me back. But man, was she ever excited! I'm gonna be a minor celebrity to the Eagan Speech Team. Good luck Eagan!

Brunch Just Got Gayer

Matt, Mom, and I went out for brunch yesterday. So many people I know have been raving about brunch at Dixies on Grand, so we decided to go. First of all, don’t believe anything you hear about said brunch. It was not $15.00 for the buffet and all you can drink mimosas. Instead it was $19.00 for the buffet and .50 mimosas. The desserts left something to be desired…I desired better desserts.

After we sat at our table, our waiter pranced up to us and offered us drinks and invited us to start the buffet. Sir, you clearly don’t know me…I do not need to be invited to start a buffet. While we were all working on our food, Colin (our waiter/ess) asked if we wanted biscuits…sure…who am I to turn away a biscuit? 10 minutes later, the server for the table next to us offered her table caramel rolls. What? There are caramel rolls? Colin!!! Where is my caramel roll? My mother says, “Maybe you don’t look like a caramel roll kind of girl.” Excuse me? If I don’t look like a caramel roll kind of girl then I don’t know what I look like. And if Colin can’t see that, then maybe we can’t be friends.

Let me explain that Colin and I could easily be friends. He’s perhaps one of the gayest waiters I’ve ever seen…even Matt was calling him “miss” and “waitress”. Just by looking at me, he should have known that I’m a “metabolically challenged girl with an abysmal self-esteem” and therefore the perfect friend for a gay man, but no. Colin did not see this and brought me no caramel rolls…nor did he offer me sparkling apple cider, like he offered other tables. Colin it’s over.

So that was brunch…on the plus side, the rest of the food was pretty decent and there was a chocolate fountain. I didn't dip myself in the fountain, but I did think about it.

Boys Come From the Stupid Factory

So we now know that Colin disappointed me, but I’ve come to the conclusion that in the last week, most of the men in my life have completely sucked. If you are a man who has not annoyed me, then I apologize for the sweeping generalizations that are about to follow.

In the last week I have been through the following things:

- after telling someone I got them the perfect gift, he killed my high by telling me that he can’t get me anything and that I should just hold off on giving the gift.
- when I told the potential recipient that I was upset about his reaction, I ended up apologizing for being upset regarding the above incident.
- I have been woken up at 3am by a phone call from an excited guy
- more than once I have been reduced to a sniffling crying girl
- I have been woken up at 6am by a phone call from a scared boy
- I have been snapped at for being worried about someone’s well-being despite have just cause
- I have been ignored when I wanted to talk about things
- when I didn’t have things to talk about I felt like I was disappointing the person who asked
- phone calls have not been returned
- I have decided that men generally suck and that I should try not to be angry at them for it…instead I should ignore it until they come around.

Once again, I apologize for any unfair generalizations or accusations, I'm just a bit frustrated with the...frustrating sex. A HUGE thank you to the boy who apologized and made me feel better about situations 1-3.

Good-Bye Denny & My fav pics C-Lover

This is dual purpose entry...

I was supposed to write about last week's Tony Sims Night:
Auntie Di was up from Illinois and she LOVED it! Bought herself a CD (And by bought herself, I mean my mom gave me money and told me to go get it. And Smokey and Ryan actually thought it was for me....no sirs I have owned my copy for over a year now.) So yeah, she loved it. In fact, I think she said they were one of the best bands she's heard in a while...though I'm not too sure how often auntie di goes to bars checking out bands. She was amazed at Tony's leg action (really...how does his leg not fall off during How Long???). She loved Dave's acoustic set...as I promised she would, and was amused by all the crazy dancers. How could she not be amused? I mean when two guys go hit on women on the dance floor and get turned down...that's funny...sad but funny. Its even better when Dave calls them out on it: "Its ok guys. Even the best of us get shot down sometimes". Not nice Dave...hilarious, but not nice.
A few other things...Ryan what's with the perm look...a haircut may be in order. I just got one today if you need a recommendation. And btw- if you want people to notice you, where bright colors...it worked for Poncho. And you looked extra angry last week during some songs...mabe its cuz Tony was making fun of the perm. Dave- why were you grabbing at Smokey's crotch? I'm sure you were trying to get him to move his leg like tony, but it looked like a crotch grab. And Smokey, thanks for singing "here comes my bum" and grabbing your ass, that might be a nice addition to the acoustic set.
And finally- A great big tearfilled goodbye to Denny aka Mark. I guess Dave has had enough. Your musical stylings to Heart of the Matter were just too much for him. And I can understand...after all, that's some hard talent to share a stage with. Have no fear though. I have every confidence that Ryan and Smokey will fill in for you to the best of their abilities. It just won't be the same though without your screaming and fleecey musicnote scarf. We will miss you.
MY FAVORITE PICS WITH MY FAVORITE RYAN
Jean sent us all the pics from our fabulous fall walk, and while I was looking at them I found discovered my two new favorite pics of Ryan and I. I know its cheesey, but they really capture two important sides of our friendship and they're so candid and perfect. Thanks for snapping them Jean! I love ya Ryan!

Too Sexy

Ok...I wasn't going to blog these, but Jean keeps asking about them, so here they are. There was one night at the MMC during a long set break (what a suprise) that we got bored and took about 312 pictures of ourselves...here's a few.

TOO SEXY!!!

Fall Weekend of Fun

It was Jean and Shannon's Fall Weekend of fun and we all had a great time. The weather was perfect on Monday. We had great food and multiple desserts at Cafe Latte (Where the hell is the Blue Moon Reisling???) Watched a shitty French horror movie (yes Ryan, it is still necrophilia if its only oral sex), and went to the Trail of Terror. (BTW David, I have finally regained hearing in my right ear after the screaming...and thanks for holding me when I was scrared!)

Most of the pictures were on Jean's camera, so I don't have too many. but these are from the beautiful fall walk we went on...

It seems like such a sweet innocent activity...

Until someone finds a stick.

Ok Mr. I'm an Abercrombie model...why are all of your clothes on?

Are we trying to be sexy? Are we matching? Did we make Shannon puthe?

The most beautiful thing I saw all weekend.

Awwww!

Ok, I didn't have any pictures from the haunted house, so this is the scariest picture I have. Boo!