Brunch Just Got Gayer

Matt, Mom, and I went out for brunch yesterday. So many people I know have been raving about brunch at Dixies on Grand, so we decided to go. First of all, don’t believe anything you hear about said brunch. It was not $15.00 for the buffet and all you can drink mimosas. Instead it was $19.00 for the buffet and .50 mimosas. The desserts left something to be desired…I desired better desserts.

After we sat at our table, our waiter pranced up to us and offered us drinks and invited us to start the buffet. Sir, you clearly don’t know me…I do not need to be invited to start a buffet. While we were all working on our food, Colin (our waiter/ess) asked if we wanted biscuits…sure…who am I to turn away a biscuit? 10 minutes later, the server for the table next to us offered her table caramel rolls. What? There are caramel rolls? Colin!!! Where is my caramel roll? My mother says, “Maybe you don’t look like a caramel roll kind of girl.” Excuse me? If I don’t look like a caramel roll kind of girl then I don’t know what I look like. And if Colin can’t see that, then maybe we can’t be friends.

Let me explain that Colin and I could easily be friends. He’s perhaps one of the gayest waiters I’ve ever seen…even Matt was calling him “miss” and “waitress”. Just by looking at me, he should have known that I’m a “metabolically challenged girl with an abysmal self-esteem” and therefore the perfect friend for a gay man, but no. Colin did not see this and brought me no caramel rolls…nor did he offer me sparkling apple cider, like he offered other tables. Colin it’s over.

So that was brunch…on the plus side, the rest of the food was pretty decent and there was a chocolate fountain. I didn't dip myself in the fountain, but I did think about it.