The Return of Slutzilla

Well Jean, you missed a good night at the MMC. I haven’t been able to write until now thanks to two 14+ hour days at work, but I’m sure I’ll get to that later.

First of all, the O’Brien/Petrie mother/daughter night didn’t work out so well. Stupid Rachel getting cast as Helena in the U of M’s Midsummer Night’s Dream. Congrats Rae!!! But the O’Brien portion showed up strong and was soon joined by Matt. We had prime seats on the rail, sitting next to….guess who??? None other than Slutzilla! Yay!!!! Slutzilla returns! Apparently Slutzilla (aka Amazon) is a big fat crying liar when she said she wasn’t coming anymore. She was there in trashy suede stilettos and a mini skirt slutting it up with a set of twins and bopping around in her chair, whacking Matt in the face with her nasty hair. Sorry Matt and thanks for taking one for the team.  So yes…Slutzilla is back and slutier than ever. But she has a friend…

The Clap (formerly known as George’s girlfriend) was in rare form. Now keep in mind that we used to like her. She was kinda cute, a pretty good dancer, and then says “right on” when Jean wears her Elvis shirt. We even give her credit for being able to follow some of the most ridiculous dancers. However, she has slowly been working up the slut ladder with her clothes and her dancing. I should mention that initially, she earned her name because she of often claps her hands above her head to just about any song. However, as you may guess, the Clap’s name can certainly have a double meaning. Especially after how much I saw of her on Thursday night.  The Clap was wearing some of the shortest skorts I’ve ever seen. Yes…I said skort. Daisy Dukes in the back, skirt in the front. (Is this the mullet of skirts/shorts??? I’m not sure) Anyway, the Clap had on the shortest skort ever made. To make it worse, she kept doing these high kicks while she was dancing. Pretty sure I saw more of the Clap’s crotch than I ever wanted to see. Wait…let me check….yep I’m sure. PLUS…she’s trying to seduce Mr. Shoeless. Now Jean…you know how we feel about Shoeless…how dare the Clap mess with her!!!! The Clap was dancing with Mr. Shoeless and at one point I saw him rubbing her back. AND…the Clap intentionally bent over like a big ole stripper in front of him to pick something up off the floor and Mr. Shoeless’ eyes were glued to her ass! How dare he! So needless to say I’m a little mad at the Clap and a little grossed out that I had to see so much of her crotch (Matt even threw up in his mouth a little bit).

Let’s see….what else did Jean miss. Tony dropped his mic, but kept right on singing. Smokey (in his Smokey the bear shirt) was singing along to just about everything and caught me laughing at him Sorry Smokey…I didn’t mean it. Tony was not only jazzing up everything with shoo be doos but he was pretty dirty: Why don’t you slip it in the back door…if you love me…you’ll let me slide right into you. DIRTY!!! They all looked pretty hott. (Fuck it…I’m still saying that even if they’re reading…it’s true). And Ryan did speak again….though I had to talk to him first. He asked me if he really did call Dave fat that many times last week. I was sad to inform him that yes he had said it all (Jean even asked if she could quote him). He said that he’d have to stay more sober next time he talked to us. I disagree…I think we get better stuff when they’re drunk! SO, anyway, sorry if we got you in trouble Ryan!

Well, being that this all happened four days ago, that’s all I can remember. I’m sure I’m forgetting things. I can’t remember all of the crazy dancers…though I know there were a bunch. So…see you next week!