Well I was going to write about my 2nd interview with “Krissy” who kept asking me if I was “goal orientated”, had the limpest handshake I’ve ever received and couldn’t come up with the difficult words “department” or “company” (though since those words are completely unrelated to retail, I should excuse that). I was going to right about that…but now that I’ve officially been offered the job in the Home department it seems more appropriate to write about the first test Marshall Fields handed me: pee in a cup. (lets count how many times I use that phrase)
First of all can I say that even the phrase “pee in a cup” is gross. But secondly, I hate peeing in cups…whether it be for the doctor, a drug test, or that one time that guy asked me to do it…peeing in a cup is nasty. And might I mention that its another thing that women got the short stick on? Its so easy for guys to pee in the cup, but it’s a little awkward for us…back me up ladies. You're just about guarteneed to pee on your hand.
So I get to the testing place and ask for a glass of water, knowing full well that my bladder is not going to cooperate. The lady tells me "No. You have to try first." Fine. Well, of course i wasn't able to fill the little cup up to the line. "Well, you'll just have to drink some water and try again." Duh!!! That's why i asked for water in the first place. Skip ahead 30 minutes later after i drank about a gallon of water. Once again, I have to lock up my purse (in case i brought someone elses urine with me) pick my cup and give it a try. Still not over the line. Once again my bladder fails me. I hate my bladder. At this point i'm thinking about moving in...I know i'm going to be here for a while. In the mean time (while i'm gulping dixie cup after dixie cup of water) 3 guys and 1 girl come in, pee in their cup and leave. They're all in and out in 7 minutes. I've already been there for and hour and 15 minutes. I hate my bladder, i hate marshall fields, and i hate everyone else who can pee in cup.
At this point, my stomach hurts because i've had so much water. Then one other girl walk in and goes in the back to fill her cup. It's at that moment i realize i have to pee. Wait...I have to pee! Right now! I could fill 5 cups...right now! Hurry up girl...i have to go! The 30 gallons of water have caught up to me and now i hate my bladder for a whole different reason. So the girl finishes and i rush back...lock my purse, pick my cup, and fill it over the line. When i came out, the woman who runs the tests actually clapped for me. I was proud of my bladder. I successfully peed in the cup. Of course the sad things is that for the rest of the day...i couldn't stop peeing.
Times I used the phrase "pee in a cup"=8
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2 comments:
And...gross.
Hey,
That's awesome. I got to pee in a cup for U.S. Bank too. I have a nervous bladder and was interviewed for 2 and a half hours, so when she told me I had to pee in a cup, I was already to go. I had to pinch it off and finish in the toilet. I know that's not as bad as yours, but I'm trying. Anyway, we'll have to have a peeing in a cup contest someday. Why? I don't know. But we definately should.
Miss you,
Lance
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