The Many Worlds of Macy's

Department stores have stupid names for things.

Food Avenue? Target, come on it is not an avenue. It is a dirty place to buy a roller dog and a slushie.

Panty world? Yes, that's right Panty World. Tuesday morning I went into work at 7am to rearrange "Panty World". Panty World is this magical place where you can find anything from tiny strings to giant parachutes to put on your bottom. By the way, at Macy's we don't actually refer to these things as underwear or even panties. They are simply "pants" as if panties is too risque. But how do we then distinguish these"pants" from real pants? And then why in the world do we call the department Panty World??? This just confuses me. So yes, I spent my morning in this world of panties. I sized the little tiny lacy thongs, I folded the comfortable cotton boy shorts, and I hung the giant nylon granny panties. The granny panties that were a least a foot tall (I'm not exaggerating here. I held them up to myself and they literally would have come up to my boobs). The granny panties that ranged from S-XXL and the small would have fit me. I should never be able to wear a small in anything....especially not something that's supposed to cover my ass. Panty World is now well organized. It looks good. The mannequin butts on the wall "create interest". Because we freed up some space in the department, we have room for "guest seating". That's right, you can now sit in comfortable chairs in the middle of Panty World. I don't want to know what kind of person sits in that department surrounded by panties. At that my friends is Macy's Panty World.

We have another world at Macy's. Women's World. I am now managing petites and plus sizes. But we don't call it plus sizes, or even just the womens department. We call it Women's World because if you are a size 14+ you need a separate world to shop in. So as I rearranged women's world yesterday, I pondered this. Why is it a world? The misses department isn't a world. And speaking of misses, why is it misses and women's. Just because I'm a size 16 does that mean I'm not a misses. Or if you are only a size 6 are you not a woman? Why not stick to plus? I'm plus size...I know that. I know that there is more of me than there is of other people. Therefore, I am plus. But then again, if you are petite, does that make you negative? or minus? Why aren't the departments negative, regular, and plus? or petite, average, and big? These are the things I think about while I'm arranging racks and dressing mannequins at 7am. I also pondered why our "plus size" mannequins are a size 14 but the don't actually have any lumps or bulges. They are simply larger version of the size 4 mannequins. If we're gonna be accurate in showing what things look like, shouldn't they have fat rolls or something. Then I could say, "yes that will cover it up!" or "no...that wrap dress simply hugs every bulge i have". That would help.

I could also talk about how we call the department for our dishes and glassware The Cellar and yet I would never keep my dinnerware in a cellar, but I need to head to work!