Tuesday, February 28, 2006

The New Kid aka Weird Kid

There’s a new kid at work….in the men’s department at Marshall Fields. As Jean once pointed out, “no one likes the new kid”. And boy is that ever true. One of my co-workers calls him “Our boy Jake!” And that’s just what he is…our boy Jake.

I was Jake’s first trainer, and I didn’t particularly enjoy those 5 hours of my life. But I thought perhaps it was because I wasn’t feeling well. It was one day early February and I had a horrible cold. I wanted to go home early, but instead, my manager comes up to me and says, “This is Jake. It’s his first day. You’ll be training him.” I took one look at Jake in his pleated khakis, wrinkled short-sleeved button-down shirt, and tie with fish on it (I was later informed that he purchased it at Savers and that it was Italian silk) and I thought, “Great!” During the day I found out that his lifelong dream (keep in mind he’s only 22) is to make Pet Cemetary 3. “Cuz they’re the best movies ever made right?” Sure Jake…sure. Jake also wondered if Marshall Field’s would be open to a few suggestions on how they should display things and remodel the store. Sure Jake. You’ve worked here for about 3 ½ hours now, I’m sure corporate will really appreciate your observations and suggestions. Jake also “wasn’t comfortable” opening the registers in the morning. He didn’t want that kind of pressure…never mind that opening and closing registers is a basic function of working at a retail store. Jake has never worked retail before.

Well since then everyone has gotten the impression that Jake is a bit odd. That’s an understatement. I love Goodwill shopping as much as the next guy, but I don’t run around saying that I buy everything there. Nor do I lurk about staring at people from behind the racks. I also don’t have 30,000 suggestion on how to make the retail world better even though I’ve worked retail for at least 6-7 years of my life. But tonight….tonight was the clincher.

I was closing with weird kid….my chosen name for him…and I just had a bad feeling. I went up to the guys in the Home department to whine. They asked, “how bad can he be?” Well a few minutes later, I found out how bad. I folding some Polo Khakis and weird kid comes up to me and says,
     “Ya know, you can always tell the people who have been shot.”
     “What???”
     “You can always tell the ones who have been shot.”
     “You mean like…with a gun?
     “Yeah. Something happens to them when they bleed. It changes them.”
     “Ummm….ok.”
That’s how bad he can be!!!!! He’s talking about people getting shot! That’s creepy. That’s weird! That’s why he’s weird kid. I went back and told the guys in Home. They were weirded out too. I think weird kid has gone a bit too far. But, then again, maybe he’s just living up to his name.

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

I'm Baaack!


I'm back in good old Minnesota. Luckily I missed the ridiculous cold snap here where the high didn't even reach ZERO on some days!!! But I was suffering through southern California's cold snap where the highs were only in the 50's. I was loving it but people were seriously wearing scarves and mittens and parkas!!! I mocked them all.

It was a very relaxing trip. Not as activity filled as last time, which was nice. I got to spend a lot of time cuddling on the couch with Henry and watching movies. I loved it!!! We played some pool, I dominated Henry with my dominoes skills, and I ate some really great "mom made" Japanese food. However, I'm sad to report that I have lost some of my skee ball skills. I definitely didn't bring my "A" game to Cali with me :(

We did manage to get off the couch a few times. We went to the LA Zoo.
Ummm...how adorable!______Sleepy Koala

This ram did sort of an Elvis lip thing.

I'm a Wallaby!

We also went to Universal Studios.


I made friends with a dinosaur.


And saw the plane wreck from War of the Worlds.

Henry also took me to the Corona del Mar Tide Pools.
The water was pretty cold, but I found lots of sea anenomes and crabs.


It was so pretty...kinda didn't want to leave!
Corona del Mar with the tide coming in.

It really was a a great relaxing trip.
Lots of good food, couch cuddling, and sites...can't wait to go back again!

Sunday, February 05, 2006

The Discovery Channel in My Backyard

Last week I witnessed a little piece of nature. More specifically, I saw survival of the fittest up close and personal. While on the phone looking out at my backyard I noticed a large bird. Too big to be an ordinary sparrow, I thought it must be a hawk, but a small one. This lil guy probably got made fun of at hawk school cuz he's so small.
He was a shy hawk so I had trouble getting him to pose for the camera.
I think to myself, "gee usually hawks are up high so they can look for prey. I wonder why this one is on the ground?"

Then I see him do something similar to this:

Yup...he was on the ground because he was eating. I couldn't tell what he was eating, but he was ripping something apart and enjoying quite the snack. At one point something long and grisly was dangling from the side of his beak.
"Umm sir, you've got a little something hanging there...No, other side...almost gone...there you got it."

I decided to go outside very quietly to try to get a better picture of him. All I came up with was this:

As I started getting closer, he flew away, but then I was able to see what was left of his snack. Just a pile of feathers...no bones, hardly any blood. Just feathers. Gross.

He came back later in the afternoon and hung out in the backyard. I'm sure he was looking for more tasty morsels, but the birds in the area had learned their lesson. However, after watching all of this, I was inspired to buy these: